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more and more...i'm thinking of my artwork as offspring..the things i've created to pass on, to live on, after i am no longer.

often i feel remorse after selling a piece that struck a cord with me. almost as if i knew they were destined for greatness...to become doctors, scientists, maybe even presidents. i adopted them out, hesitating, only because they were the perfect child. the one who excelled and made friends easily...but, in the end i had no place for them anymore. they served their purpose for me while making them. i learned great things about life...achieving perfection through imperfection...tapping the inner source of why i exist....finding a door i can walk through and hoping to see another door at the end of the tunnel...eternity...but, there's a time when you have to let things go (in my case art things) much like sending a child off to college and encouraging them to blossom and spread their joy to others without hoarding or sheltering them from this..not so forgiving world.

and then....there are artworks that are just plain not fit to live. they're aborted, thrown in the trash with last night's take-out. if they lived...they would be told things like, 'WHY couldn't you be MORE like your older brother?!?!?!?!' and 'i gave you EVERYthing...i SACRiFiCED....i worked day in, day out for you, fingers to the bone....and STiLL you treat me like THiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiS?!?!?!?!?!' but, these kids teach us more than we acknowledge. they show us that life isn't always a bed of roses...that you must experience the bad in life to feel the good.

ultimately, it all comes down to...
i just wanna see my children in a show, stand up, clap and yell...

THAT'S MY BOY....THAT'S MY GIRL!!!!! i'm so proud of YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Sep. 15th, 2006 06:08 pm (UTC)
los angeles..

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