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exhibitionist tendencies..

my friend shannon and i were talking a few weeks back about her senior show...how she went through her very first postpartum exhibit depression..

baby smith
'heap no. 97' (fat of the land series)
found objects on altered book cover

..the feeling of remorse after such an anticipated event, a culmination of many years of hard work and grueling hours spent toiling away in the studio, spilling your soul forth, opening your heart and revealing parts of yourself even YOU never knew existed, for all to see, inspect, analyze, and quite possibly *sigh* reject. and this 'happening' is most likely witnessed by very few for only a short window of time - and then, sadly, forever lost. the work may still live, but that moment....that glory - that point in time.......will forever be lost.

well....i think i may be experiencing PREpartum exhibit melancholy....only weeks away from my big opening with chambers in portland, a very prestigious gallery. they'll be showing the best of the best of what i've labored to produce over the last year or more. i've been acting out the opening night in my mind..rewinding..playing..pausing..rewinding..playing..repeat.. as if to extend the euphoria, hoping that moment will last forever....hoping it'll make me feel better than any drug, any drink i've ever had.


( 16 comments — Leave a comment )
Nov. 22nd, 2006 08:19 am (UTC)
wow, just wow. i have no idea, but at the same time i'm like YEAH. I am rooting for you, even though i have not even close the guts.
Nov. 22nd, 2006 08:24 am (UTC)
well, i only wish this show was local....cuz i would handcuff you and MAKE you come to the opening...

likey the new icon, btw!!!!!!
Nov. 22nd, 2006 02:32 pm (UTC)
I can so relate.

When I used to produce the plays I wrote in college you'd get to the hours after the last performance and you'd feel..."augh..."...like now what?

A show in PDX???!?

When does it start? I can tell some of my friends about it? I bet it won't be there first week od December hunh, when I'll be there. :(

Nov. 22nd, 2006 05:41 pm (UTC)
wow, producer of plays, that's cool...and i see what you're saying...seems the rush of excitement can be so quickly snuffed by the drop of a curtain...us creative types...so fragile. :/

hey, my show opens on the 6th (with the opening reception on the evening of the 7th) if you could make it chuck and i would LOVE to meet you and all your friends!!! (just click on the chambers link above for more info)
Nov. 22nd, 2006 06:33 pm (UTC)
I *think* I CAN do that! It corresponds with my trip home that week. I think I can be at the reception depending on what my sisters want me to do mid week...if I can't, I know I can go by the gallery on that Friday before I fly back to WV and at least see your work.

Wow...hinky! What a coincident!

I'll leave a comment or contact you via your website if I can be at the recpetion.
Nov. 22nd, 2006 08:25 pm (UTC)
how exciting..
so, yeah, the reception is from 5:30-8:30 thursday, dec. 7th...hope to see you!
Nov. 22nd, 2006 03:43 pm (UTC)
Hey, when you are ready to part with "heap no. 97" can I buy it? I'm not sure why, but it really speaks to me. It's unbalamce and random placement feels really balanced and soothing to my senses. If all your work is this awesome, you will have the bestest showing they ever saw. You will blow their fucking minds, knock their fucking socks off---I could go on, but you probably got my point. btw-did Sara tell you she has a new boyfriend? You should ask her about him-he is quite the little studmuffin:) love you, pammy
Nov. 22nd, 2006 05:49 pm (UTC)
oh, pammy, you're so good to me..

this piece is going in the show....and if you're serious about buying, just let me know. (it's $300.) we'll just put a red dot next to it in the gallery so no one else can buy it. neener neener!

and yeah, sara told me about her new bo....she seemed very excited that he was getting his own place soon. have i mentioned i'm so glad i never had kids??? the ulcers would kill me.. ;D
Nov. 22nd, 2006 10:36 pm (UTC)
Oh,Yeah!!! I feel the acid! What I know is I would have been all over him and then some if I were in her shoes. God, I hope she doesn't read this-she will think I am a pervert:} I will let you know about the pice, I may have to settle for a print-not that it wouldn't be worth every penny you understand. love, pammy
Nov. 22nd, 2006 10:37 pm (UTC)
I meant "piece"
Nov. 23rd, 2006 05:32 am (UTC)
oooooh, my ulcers are growing ulcers, pammy!!!!!
(as i clutch my stomach and double over)

hmmm. let me get this straight..
15 yr old daughter likes boy 5 years her elder.
buuuuuuuut, mama also likes boy.

k....forget the ulcers.
my arm is all achey and my heart feels all tighty.

is that normal?
Nov. 22nd, 2006 11:24 pm (UTC)
f a b u l o u s
You're gonna do great. No, you're gonna do better than that, you're gonna do FABULOUS.

Enjoy! I sometimes spiral downwards right at the opening. NOW is the happy time. I know you are however going to be a HUGE success!

Nov. 23rd, 2006 05:36 am (UTC)
Re: f a b u l o u s
g'ah....thanks eva.

that means the world, actually..
coming from my hero, and all.

Nov. 27th, 2006 06:33 am (UTC)
hey baby!
the chambers looks beautiful. I hope we can go there. i want to see your stuff up!!! it's been way too long since i've been able to see your art exhibited. i miss going to openings with you.
Nov. 27th, 2006 06:38 am (UTC)
heh....i just emailed you!!!! we're connected, YOU!

oooooh, we'll see the chambers exhibit together...something tells me. not to worry...
Nov. 29th, 2006 05:29 am (UTC)
( 16 comments — Leave a comment )

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