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paid a visit to my dentist this morning...one of the many doctors i have lined up to poke and prod me this month and next...

my dental hygienist is a hoot. you'd think we were best friends, cuz she's constantly running her mouth....and some of it's pretty personal.......stuff *i* wouldn't reveal, especially to a person i only see twice a year. hell, i don't even know her name (i'm pretty sure it starts with 'V') and the only reason she knows mine is, well.....it's on my chart, ooooooooor she's stalking me.

but, i find myself caught in the middle of such awkward moments when she's scraping and picking away at me with the occasional command to 'rinse' and 'turn to your right'...i get so frustrated when i can't respond to anything she says unless it's a garbled 'uh huh' or 'yah,' followed by a half hearted chuckle......all the while trying not to form too much spittle which will surely gag me and cause undo embarrassment (*sigh* in FRONT of, no less, my new best friend......THE DRAMA, i know!) believe me, i've tried all the witty retorts and 'no kidding' and ' i HEAR YA sister' only come out sounding like a drunk person with marbles in their mouth....which isn't too far off base from my regular speech patterns, come to think of it.

and i just can't look her in the eye. those googly eye magnifier thingys are SUCH a turn off!!!! i don't know whether to laugh hysterically or run away for fear of being stabbed repeatedly by this ice pick wielding monster.

the other thing i noticed while checking out, was a heaping bowl of sugary treats on the counter displayed for a local charity. hersheys, skittles, m&m's, you name it. all i could think was....

'tooth decay for sale!!!! GEEEEEEEEEET it HERE!!!'

anyhoo, with all our chit chat this morning, i'm left wondering whether i should get my hygienist a b-day gift this year, i mean, what's the etiquette here?....perhaps a cherry flavored floss necklace? ooooooor, maybe a listerine swirl bunt cake with toothbrush shaped candles?

i just hope she doesn't ask me to be her kid's godmother next visit...*sigh* i simply don't have the time. i mean come ON people, i barely have time to floss!!!!!


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 26th, 2007 12:22 am (UTC)
does she know yr an artist? even if she doesnt, i think you should make her a tiny collage, possibly dental related. i would love something like that.
May. 26th, 2007 12:35 am (UTC)
it's funny you say that....cuz, on my last bill i made a doodle on the back of the envelope.....it was an animated tooth/man saying, 'i just got brushed off by my girlfriend....but, i'm o.k. with it...'

who knows if they even saw it or liked it????

May. 26th, 2007 06:55 am (UTC)
I enjoy talaktive people but like you said a talkative dentist is a problem. You want to talk back but unable. funny funny stuff.
May. 26th, 2007 06:29 pm (UTC)
heh, yah....i found myself trying to communicate in ANY way possible. after all, african clicking sounds, hand gestures and eye rolling can only take you SO far! i might resort to flash cards on my next visit..
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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