baby smith (artworkslive) wrote,
baby smith
artworkslive

cheeeeeeeeeeese

paid a visit to my dentist this morning...one of the many doctors i have lined up to poke and prod me this month and next...

my dental hygienist is a hoot. you'd think we were best friends, cuz she's constantly running her mouth....and some of it's pretty personal.......stuff *i* wouldn't reveal, especially to a person i only see twice a year. hell, i don't even know her name (i'm pretty sure it starts with 'V') and the only reason she knows mine is, well.....it's on my chart, ooooooooor she's stalking me.

but, i find myself caught in the middle of such awkward moments when she's scraping and picking away at me with the occasional command to 'rinse' and 'turn to your right'...i get so frustrated when i can't respond to anything she says unless it's a garbled 'uh huh' or 'yah,' followed by a half hearted chuckle......all the while trying not to form too much spittle which will surely gag me and cause undo embarrassment (*sigh* in FRONT of, no less, my new best friend......THE DRAMA, i know!) believe me, i've tried all the witty retorts and 'no kidding' and ' i HEAR YA sister' only come out sounding like a drunk person with marbles in their mouth....which isn't too far off base from my regular speech patterns, come to think of it.

and i just can't look her in the eye. those googly eye magnifier thingys are SUCH a turn off!!!! i don't know whether to laugh hysterically or run away for fear of being stabbed repeatedly by this ice pick wielding monster.

the other thing i noticed while checking out, was a heaping bowl of sugary treats on the counter displayed for a local charity. hersheys, skittles, m&m's, you name it. all i could think was....

'tooth decay for sale!!!! GEEEEEEEEEET it HERE!!!'

anyhoo, with all our chit chat this morning, i'm left wondering whether i should get my hygienist a b-day gift this year, i mean, what's the etiquette here?....perhaps a cherry flavored floss necklace? ooooooor, maybe a listerine swirl bunt cake with toothbrush shaped candles?

i just hope she doesn't ask me to be her kid's godmother next visit...*sigh* i simply don't have the time. i mean come ON people, i barely have time to floss!!!!!
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