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ex files

got an email from my ex-husband today (kallen, for all you looooooooong time readers, all two of you)....i can't even remember the last time he and i touched base. it was probably more than a year ago. our banter has slowly distilled into a dilluted, unemotional brotherly/sisterly exchange - whereby we only share our general family updates (births, deaths, and the occasional graduation), the most basic of goings on, and of course, my updates on 'jozee the dog.' kal and i acquired jozee and wylee from a litter of four abandoned pups early in 1991, shortly after we married. something many newlyweds do, i suppose - as a practical means to train for possible 'humanoid children' down the road. you pick their names together, you discipline them together, you feed, bathe, comfort, love and protect them....together. which was all good and fine, with one exception. i was the ONLY one perfectly content to stop at the canine level. it took me nearly 13 years to discover and admit this to myself and kallen.

following our divorce in 2002, i felt pangs of guilt every so often...having jilted him (albeit unintentionally) of his dreams, while furiously pursuing mine. (he's since re-married, adopted 2 kids and had a biological one, to boot) but, i suppose everything and everyone in our lives, for whatever time, is meant for a purpose. i no longer blame myself (or anyone else, for that matter) for our failed relationship.

actually, i take that back....our relationship never failed....but, our interpretation of it ultimately did.

in the years since kal and i called it quits, chuck has never raised an eyebrow, shown an ounce of jealousy at our occasional correspondence (which is more than i can say.....cuz i'd be all 'step ooooo-IF bitch jealous' if chuck were still chummy with a leprous 80 year old junkie lesbian who watches jerry springer religiously, has press on nails, thinks SPAM is a food group, aaaaaaand STiLL thinks saddam hussein was a killuh rap singer, cut down in his prime)......not to mention the fact, he's never treated jozee as 'mine.' she's always been OUR doggie. (err...unless she pees on the guest's bed, in which case, she's totally MiNE) but, i'm consistently reminded of how lucky i am - to have this trust and acceptance from the one i love.

i was quick to adopt chuckie's turtles, too (and i still want more 'in the oven,' figuratively speaking, of course! mmmmmmm - turtle soup).....not that that was any great sacrifice, mind you. they sleep 6 months out of the year, rarely beg, eat less than the olsen twins, combined.....plus, they don't bark, hump, or wake you up in the middle of the night wanting to piddle......oh yes, and chew up your chapstick, leaving a huge permanent stain on your light beige carpeting. *sigh*

but, don't get me wrong. we love our little jozee......she's the world's best doggie. and i'm one proud mama....without the stretch marks!


( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 6th, 2007 04:10 am (UTC)
You Need Stretch Marks
Jun. 6th, 2007 05:09 pm (UTC)
hey, baby!
this was fun to read, and oh so on the mark!!
1991... wow! what a strange year that was for me... i remember meeting the puppies and how free i was and how much fun that road trip had been. must have been 1991 prior to me and greg gettin' hitched, eh?
Jun. 7th, 2007 12:51 am (UTC)
fun times, fun times!
weird, cuz i was thinking you might've already been married by then, but you know all too well i can't remember what, day, month, or year it is sometimes...ignorance really IS bliss. ;D

Jun. 7th, 2007 04:54 am (UTC)
sheesh. maybe i was married but g didn't go with me to visit. i sure don't remember feeling married when i met the pups... but with me... i have a hard time remembering all things greg. which is a good thing!
Jun. 6th, 2007 06:39 pm (UTC)
Well, I know it *is* different but still... when you get a puppy and raise it, it is like your kid! You love it as much as you would a child, and you have it in the back of your mind to devote free time to spend with your dog because they're that important in your life... you're a good dog Mommy.

And I can see how Chuck wouldn't be jealous of him... Chuck kind of stole your heart at the right time when it came to that. :)
Jun. 7th, 2007 12:47 am (UTC)
well, i can see why you relate to my doggie mommy issues....that applies to birdies, too, ya know!

and on a different note..
opened this email today thinking it might just be you, PLEEEEEEASE say it was. i want me some o'dat!!!!! :

It`s holly again. Will you ever contact me?
I made those nude pictures especially for you and I wont write to you
If you wanna see them just drop me a line...'
Jun. 7th, 2007 04:24 am (UTC)

Too bad you didn't drop me a line, I sat here waiting with my naked pictures all day!!!!
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )

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