baby smith (artworkslive) wrote,
baby smith

ex files

got an email from my ex-husband today (kallen, for all you looooooooong time readers, all two of you)....i can't even remember the last time he and i touched base. it was probably more than a year ago. our banter has slowly distilled into a dilluted, unemotional brotherly/sisterly exchange - whereby we only share our general family updates (births, deaths, and the occasional graduation), the most basic of goings on, and of course, my updates on 'jozee the dog.' kal and i acquired jozee and wylee from a litter of four abandoned pups early in 1991, shortly after we married. something many newlyweds do, i suppose - as a practical means to train for possible 'humanoid children' down the road. you pick their names together, you discipline them together, you feed, bathe, comfort, love and protect them....together. which was all good and fine, with one exception. i was the ONLY one perfectly content to stop at the canine level. it took me nearly 13 years to discover and admit this to myself and kallen.

following our divorce in 2002, i felt pangs of guilt every so often...having jilted him (albeit unintentionally) of his dreams, while furiously pursuing mine. (he's since re-married, adopted 2 kids and had a biological one, to boot) but, i suppose everything and everyone in our lives, for whatever time, is meant for a purpose. i no longer blame myself (or anyone else, for that matter) for our failed relationship.

actually, i take that back....our relationship never failed....but, our interpretation of it ultimately did.

in the years since kal and i called it quits, chuck has never raised an eyebrow, shown an ounce of jealousy at our occasional correspondence (which is more than i can say.....cuz i'd be all 'step ooooo-IF bitch jealous' if chuck were still chummy with a leprous 80 year old junkie lesbian who watches jerry springer religiously, has press on nails, thinks SPAM is a food group, aaaaaaand STiLL thinks saddam hussein was a killuh rap singer, cut down in his prime)......not to mention the fact, he's never treated jozee as 'mine.' she's always been OUR doggie. (err...unless she pees on the guest's bed, in which case, she's totally MiNE) but, i'm consistently reminded of how lucky i am - to have this trust and acceptance from the one i love.

i was quick to adopt chuckie's turtles, too (and i still want more 'in the oven,' figuratively speaking, of course! mmmmmmm - turtle soup).....not that that was any great sacrifice, mind you. they sleep 6 months out of the year, rarely beg, eat less than the olsen twins,, they don't bark, hump, or wake you up in the middle of the night wanting to piddle......oh yes, and chew up your chapstick, leaving a huge permanent stain on your light beige carpeting. *sigh*

but, don't get me wrong. we love our little jozee......she's the world's best doggie. and i'm one proud mama....without the stretch marks!

  • (no subject)

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