it's 4 something a.m. my time......7 something hers.
i haven't slept a wink, she was just getting up.
the first thing she said was.......'hhhhhhhi, but what's WRRRRRRONG?!!!!'
yup.....she read me like a book. i'm SO NOT a morning person....she called it like she saw it. she KNOWS i'd rather stay up till noon than wake up at 4am.
all i thought was:
the last time i called her like this was when i was in complete desperation. my dad had recently remarried, my 'non smoking' step mom was yanking frozen ciggies outta the freezer and chain smoking all of a sudden because she couldn't cope with me anymore?????? yup.....i was a bee-yotch alright.....buuuuuut, that was my JOB at the time! after aaaaaaall, i was six fucking TEEN.
i was the last of 5 kids..........all siblings had moved away (and mom remarried and moved away, TOO) and i eventually cried bloody murder.....wanting her to cross state lines to be with me, once again. *sigh*
yeah, i wanted my mama......and who the frick wouldn't?
i'm such a dork, baby.
only this time, this call, i DiDN'T cry......
i just wanted to hear her voice.
i just shut my stupid, idiot, dumb mouth...... long enough....to hear hers. her sober, soothing, soft voice.
to me, that's as good as it gets these days.
it's like hearing the beatles for the first time.
or seeing a humming bird take nectar from a feeder that's right outside your bedroom as you wake up.
you're never too old to be read a bedtime story.
and you're never too old to hear a lullaby.....