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day one.

day one of sobriety.
so far, so good.
i hope i can make it stick.

i knew this day would come eventually.
i'm scared to death.

but, the alternative is much, MUCH scarier.

i've always thought i could have one cocktail and be fine.
but, i can't.
i've always thought i could skip a day of drink.
but, i never did.
i could blame it on my family history.
but, i won't.

i'm trying to look at the positives....
just think of all the money we'll save.
i'll probably sleep better.
my liver won't explode.

so, i guess it's virgin drinks and o'douls for me now.
and maybe a little caffeine for good measure.


( 53 comments — Leave a comment )
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Aug. 25th, 2007 05:02 am (UTC)
Good for you guys to do this. I never have been a drink a day guy. I drink beer or mixed drinks when I go out with friends or vacations and such but I rarely drink more than a couple beers a month at the most.
Aug. 25th, 2007 05:20 am (UTC)
thanks dean, you're lucky.
you didn't get bitten by the booze bug!

i wish i could be a beer every other week kinda gal....
Aug. 25th, 2007 09:19 am (UTC)

I am really glad you and chuck are both doing this. i knew this day would come and now that it has, i'm extra glad that you're both doing it together. if either of you ever feel the urge mega-much, please feel free to call me anytime and i'll listen and do whatever i can to help. yah, it'll be hard, duh! but i know you and you are strong and can do this as long as you want to do it, and i'm glad to see that you want to.

i just got bk from denver and i'm downloading email which is taking forever and is keeping my phone line tied up... but you have my cell. you can call me anytime- always!!!

love you sooooo dang much!!!!!!!
Aug. 25th, 2007 05:15 pm (UTC)
thanks so much kimmy doodle!!!!

amazing, i know.
i've been bouncing around this idea for about a month or so. i knew that i'd never be able to do it if anyone pressured me. i had to make that decision myself. and so far it's sticking. i don't want what goes with this lifestyle anymore. it gives me way more pain than pleasure. it's not worth the euphoria of that first drink anymore. i'd rather be nervous in public and just feel the prick of life now. guess i'm wising up in my old age???? ;) i'll find a way to substitute that alcohol high. my art, love, waking up and not feeling hungover. these are all good things. i knew you'd accept me either way, and that's why you're my bestest of friends....so HUGE HUGS.

it's been a bit of a roller coaster these past few days. i feel GREAT and cleansed one minute, then i feel like shit cuz of all the toxins being released. it's pretty harsh, but i still know in my heart that i want it bad enough to follow through. thanks for your support....you've always been there for me, in drunkenness and in health.

i love you so much and can't wait to hear all about your trip. i'll prolly call this week sometime.

hey, you were actually in denver the very same day my bio mom and step bio dad were there....CWAZY, HUH? they went to rose memorial where i was born. they're too dang sweet, they are.

and i had a dream with you last night. we were at a party and you got bored and climbed one of the walls (which had all kinds of bars and straps on it? what was it, some kinda sex den?) anyway, you started doing acrobatics, spinning and twirling and bouncing around like an olympic athlete doped up on steroids and crack!!!! it was hilarious! then you slipped and hit your ankle wrong and fell to the ground in excruciating pain. i ran to you and screamed, 'kimmy, are you alright?!!' then you got up and limped a little and moaned. and that was pretty much it.....

and then i had another dream that i was at a party, i didn't know anyone, but i was talking to a girl about how one of my favorite body parts on a guy is their forearm. the way it's hairy and strong and smells good, the shape of it, everything. and i was completely schnauckered. only the kicker was, i hadn't been drinking. i told chuck this dream and he said, 'well, then....you must've been drunk on life!' HAHAHAHA. yup, there's hope yet.....

well, have a great weekend and we'll talk soon, my dear!
Aug. 26th, 2007 10:17 am (UTC)
OMG! how crazy!!

like, that the three of us were in your home town on your birthday, not to mention those amazing dreams!! haha! hope my ankle wasn't broken too badly... remember i told you about the weird dream i had of your leg getting cut and bleeding? haha! now we've both had dreams about the other having leg related problems! must be our psychic connection- when one or the other of us is feeling bad/going thru tough times, we'll dream of ankle injuries and bleeding leggies! (yah, i've been shedding my fair share of tears lately- no big, i emailed you a long letter about it...)

and the forearm!!! tHaT is one of the first things i remember you telling me about Chuck. that you really ReAllY liked his forearms.

yah, those are the lasting things in life that help make it good... getting high on life and smelling those sexy, hairy forearms!


i gotta tell you... every time i read about me doing acrobatics, spinning and twirling around like a crazy freaked out olympian, i crack the f-up!!!!

hahaha! "WOO! there i go!!!!!"

love you oodlies.

Aug. 26th, 2007 07:38 pm (UTC)
oh, deary kimmy....i haven't checked my emails yet, but will. hoping these were good cleansing cries of release, followed by positive thoughts of strength and movement forward. i know you'll move past it, whatever it may be.

you were a sight to behold on that jungle gym wall, lemme tell you...

love plus one to you!
Aug. 25th, 2007 09:54 pm (UTC)
all the best to you
Well gee I had no idea. And I am someone who has had a drink or 2 with you. I remember Bob pouring us a drink at the gallery... was it very cold vodka..?

I hope you get everything you need. You deserve all good.

Aug. 25th, 2007 10:40 pm (UTC)
Re: all the best to you
aaaw, thanks eva...yeah, us alkeez can mask it pretty well.

remember when you first asked me to be on artstar??? a panic washed over me and i thought, 'well, if i just have a shot of tequila first, if i can just have that oooooooone drink, everything'll be fine.'

and yeah, bob's vodka was top of the line. it tasted like cool mountain water to me.

nnnnnot a good sign....

and we can still do drinks together, but i'll be the one having a shirley temple. :)
Aug. 28th, 2007 10:31 pm (UTC)
I should really stop reading my friends list in reverse order. I saw Chuck's before I saw all of this explanation!

Poor thing, I didn't know it was tough for you!

I was just never stuck on drinking or anything... just coffee pretty much. I couldn't quit the coffee so I can understand from that point of view!
Aug. 28th, 2007 10:54 pm (UTC)
well, it wasn't always tough for me....it was just sort of a gradual thing.
one day i was a casual drinker and BAM, ya know? like a lobster in boiling water, only the water was pure vodka....

so, i'm glad you're not as hooked on the stuff as you are coffee....i'd REALLY be worried then! :)
Aug. 28th, 2007 11:55 pm (UTC)
Really!? Wow, I didn't picture you like that! Maybe because you're cute and tiny? :)
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