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day one.

day one of sobriety.
so far, so good.
i hope i can make it stick.

i knew this day would come eventually.
i'm scared to death.

but, the alternative is much, MUCH scarier.

i've always thought i could have one cocktail and be fine.
but, i can't.
i've always thought i could skip a day of drink.
but, i never did.
i could blame it on my family history.
but, i won't.

i'm trying to look at the positives....
just think of all the money we'll save.
i'll probably sleep better.
my liver won't explode.

so, i guess it's virgin drinks and o'douls for me now.
and maybe a little caffeine for good measure.


Aug. 24th, 2007 05:07 pm (UTC)
Holy cow, Dr. B!!!!!!!
What awesome, yet absolutely shocking, news!!! Why did you decide to take a break from the alkyhol??? I think it's a *wonderful* idea to let go of it; I've always thought drinking should always be moderated and controlled. You know, we're gonna have to arrange a virgin get-together to celebrate this (is it just me or does that sound really dirty??? :). Seriously, we need to get together, have a bunch of virgin frou-frou drinks, and maybe some of those killer cheese sticks at Bahooka or something! Best of luck, Dr. B... I know you (and your ever-lovin Chuckie, who's the best support you could ever ask for) will be able to do it!!! :o)
Aug. 24th, 2007 09:25 pm (UTC)
Re: Holy cow, Dr. B!!!!!!!
i know, i know....the shocker of the century!!!!
dr. B sure liked her drinky winkys!!!!! HAHAHA

see, that's the thing. i always used alcohol as a crutch. something i needed in order to be comfortable in certain situations......and after awhile it started consuming me. like, "i can't go here without having one drink first," or "i can't talk to this person on the phone without getting 'relaxed' first." i started drinking earlier and earlier in the day too, which scared the hell outta me. i felt out of control and embarrassed everytime a checker would ring up my liquor purchase. i'd even go to alternating grocery stores so they wouldn't realize i was buying so much. yup, pretty fucked up behavior.....

and drinking used to be FUN for me. but, it grew into a habit that started infecting my daily activities, relationships, even disrupting my productivity as an artist. i started obsessing about that first drink every day, day after day. that's when i knew it was a real problem. but, i denied it for so long (like the past 10 years or so???), thinking one day i would just cut back. be able to control my anxiety without taking a drink first. but, that day never came.

so, here i am in the middle of day 2.
and i feel better today than i've felt in years.
i feel this palpable sense of clarity all of a sudden....almost as if i've been stone drunk for the past 10 years and i'm FiNALLY waking up.

and let's all do the vigin night out soon!-woo woo-you kinky thing you!!!! you can put your cheese stick in my napkin ring ANYday!!!!! ---O-

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