baby smith (artworkslive) wrote,
baby smith
artworkslive

blurred vision



my dad and step mom came to visit this past weekend.....

although we haven't always been on good terms, i still love 'em......they're a part of my history and i cling to things familiar, so i guess i'm stuck with 'em. but, i have a love/hate relationship with my dad, and he knows it. i'm the youngest of five kids and always had this notion my parents would just somehow always be married forever.....unlike all my friend's parents, who divorced left and right in the late 70's and early 80's.

well, that disneyland wall came crashing down when i was about 14 when my mom and brother eric sat me down one night and said dad was moving out. some part of me resented him for breaking up our 'ozzie and harriet' existence. but, throughout the years i've come to realize my dad's position.....he was unhappy, for whatever reason, and decided to move on. he sacrificed for his family while he was married, like foregoing a corporate climbing career to avoid uprooting his family every few years, etc. so, i knew he had good intentions, at least PART of the time....

so, back to the present.....when i learned my dad was diagnosed last year with early stage alzheimer's it didn't shock me in the least. he's always been forgetful and slightly dingy in a way....and the family has always taken his 'fabricated stories' with a grain of salt. and to me, that was actually a large part of his charm. after all, i like a good story, whether it's true or not!!!

i took this handheld snapshot (above) in olvera st. this past saturday.....until this photo, i don't think i owned a picture of JUST dad and me. but, even though it's blurry, i loooooove it, cuz deep down i think we're ALL a bit foggy about our past and the memories that constantly fill our hearts and heads.....
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