October 22nd, 2006

baby pony

now listen here youngin'

there's something very tragic, and yet so magical about being the youngest of five kids...

i just got done playing 'court and spark' by joni mitchell, a cd recommended by eva lake, who happens to be the same age as my sister, pammy. i couldn't help but think of pulling out pammy's 45's, placing them onto my cheap turntable, and hoping not to scratch the vinyl, listening to them over and over (along with my new bought records from my generation)....almost like a cult member, wishing to escape into another world...longing to forget everything, ANYTHiNG, as long as it meant temporary bliss.

and then i thought of going to sleep as a young child, hearing the thumping sounds of my brother eric's music blaring on the stereo system...mostly 'jesus christ super star,' 'ted nugent' and 'kiss.' if only i'd been recording a journal back then, oooooh...the dreams must've been beyond psychedelic!

my point being...

i feel like my childhood was some sort of dream that i'll never quite wake up from.. but, somehow..the mystery almost seems good enough....at least for now.