November 21st, 2006

baby pony

exhibitionist tendencies..

my friend shannon and i were talking a few weeks back about her senior she went through her very first postpartum exhibit depression..

baby smith
'heap no. 97' (fat of the land series)
found objects on altered book cover

..the feeling of remorse after such an anticipated event, a culmination of many years of hard work and grueling hours spent toiling away in the studio, spilling your soul forth, opening your heart and revealing parts of yourself even YOU never knew existed, for all to see, inspect, analyze, and quite possibly *sigh* reject. and this 'happening' is most likely witnessed by very few for only a short window of time - and then, sadly, forever lost. the work may still live, but that moment....that glory - that point in time.......will forever be lost.

well....i think i may be experiencing PREpartum exhibit melancholy....only weeks away from my big opening with chambers in portland, a very prestigious gallery. they'll be showing the best of the best of what i've labored to produce over the last year or more. i've been acting out the opening night in my mind..rewinding..playing..pausing..rewinding..playing..repeat.. as if to extend the euphoria, hoping that moment will last forever....hoping it'll make me feel better than any drug, any drink i've ever had.