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i hate waking up in the mourning


i can't help it.....
she's in my every thought.
she's been with me longer than my mom raised me.
if she were a human, she'd be going off to college this year.

i think chuck instinctively knew she was on her way out.....he took multiple pictures and videos the day before she passed......

but, i was bracing myself for the last year or more....waiting for her to bid farewell. i was hoping (and yes, i guess praying) she wouldn't go the way wylee did 5 years ago.(2.18.03 entry)

jozee just kept coming back after every ailment: failing kidneys, vestibular disease, weakened liver, and finally a tumor on the heart.....just like the energizer bunny....she fought it, like she was jacked up on crack n'coffee. and somehow that resilience made me believe she would outlive us all......but, all good things must come to an end i guess. and jozee was one of the greats.

when my ex-husband kallen and i first adopted jozee and her brother wylee (shown below) from the pound, we brought them home, full of anticipation and naiveté.


the first thing jozee did was sniff, skitter and squat on our newly bought white carpet.

although i wanted dogs dearly, i threatened to return them only after one week.....and i'm so grateful i didn't.......cuz ultimately i knew we were all young....dogs and humans alike. we needed to adjust and grow with each other, regardless of how many stains collected on the floor.

it's funny how much those damn dogs taught me about life.....

and here i thought *i* was their parent.


May. 2nd, 2008 10:30 pm (UTC)
no doubt!!!! i think they add years to our lives with all the love they bring....too bad we can't tack on more years on their short lives....but, jozee sure had a good run!
May. 2nd, 2008 11:04 pm (UTC)
Yeah they really do add SO much to your life, and they're too perfect, loyal, and cute to ever be anything negative, which makes it so much harder when you lose them, but it really is worth it.

Another reason I let Cupid stay with my Mom and stepdad a lot is because it makes them fight less! If they ever do raise their voices, Cupid starts barking because he thinks they're yelling at someone outside who is going to come kill them all so he goes crazy and it makes them laugh, so they don't keep fighting. Just an example, I guess!

You have a lot of joy to share with Stella now, not that any dog is ever a replacement though, but you know what I mean.

I'm still so sorry though, I feel so bad for you and don't even know what to say. :(
May. 2nd, 2008 11:32 pm (UTC)
you're so sweet, hol....you said exactly what i needed and wanted to hear. just knowing friends and family who relate to this kind of situation gives me SO much comfort. i know i had it lucky having a dog that lived such a happy, long life. even near the end, being almost entirely deaf and blind, with a giant tumor on her heart(!), she still seemed happy enough.... and was wagging her tail just a couple days before she left.

what an amazing ride!
May. 2nd, 2008 11:40 pm (UTC)
Yes, exactly.... the beauty of it is more apparent later when the pain has subsided a little bit, of course.

You have so much of my sympathy, Becky... sorry this happened to you!

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