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friend or foe

i've only been blogging with Lj for around a half year..and i know the founders chose the word 'friend' to represent the people you regularly read in hopes of creating that connectedness and camaraderie that goes along with real life relationships. but, today i felt an extra twinge. having met my fiance inadvertently through the internet, i know that this vast virtual cavern of supposed 'friendships' can most definitely blossom into real emotional bonds. some of the people on my friends list have touched me in a way i never expected.

i'm a solitary person by nature..but, that doesn't mean i don't like people.

over the past few weeks i've felt such a rush of acceptance and support from people i've never physically met. i now realize this whole public blogging thing is like a dating service for FRiENDS!!!! only you don't have to meet for lunch and figure out what the fuck to say when you realize the chemistry is just NOT there..


( 17 comments — Leave a comment )
Jul. 19th, 2005 01:45 am (UTC)
awwww! J and I met on the interweb too!
Jul. 19th, 2005 01:53 am (UTC)
i sense a hollywood pitch..

'web weddings!!!!!'

Jul. 19th, 2005 02:00 am (UTC)
It is a blessing to have this way to be solitary and connected all at once. I never get over it!
Jul. 19th, 2005 03:48 am (UTC)
we're livin' in a poifect woild, yah yah.
i'm so anti-social, but i crave the non-stop activity of Lj. it's like the modern day crack, minus the jail sentence....and strung outiness..
Jul. 19th, 2005 09:07 am (UTC)
group hugs again please!
I totally recognise all thats been said here, and in particular the idea of being alone and yet connected. Its quite easy to hide away in my little dark room with the blinds down against the sun. Its only when I venture out into the sunshine that I realise that my inner struggle with solitude & aloneness vs loneliness and sadness is of my own making and I find it hard to find the right balance and the right connections with the right people (in the real world and cyber world). Here its easy, you can spend time and have fun and walk away when solitude is calling. In the real world, when the sun is out and couples and friends are all laughing and joking and kissing, is when I feel something harder to deal with.

sorry that was a bit of a rant and Im not sure whether its relevant here or not, but a couple of things I read just now on LJ and especially comments on this thread, made me think about this :)
Jul. 19th, 2005 03:06 pm (UTC)
Re: group hugs again please!
rant away!!!
i don't think i have to tell you that you inspired this post..
Jul. 19th, 2005 04:22 pm (UTC)
Re: group hugs again please!
oh now you made me cry woman! A very odd day today, no idea why but a definate 'frilly lipped' moment. Wonder if you know that means?! ;)
Jul. 19th, 2005 07:02 pm (UTC)
Re: group hugs again please!
frilly lipped? i like that...such a britty sound to it. conjures up all kinds of visuals..i mean, i'm sorry if i made you frilly lipped. my heart nearly 'sploded yesterday because of you..so, consider it a returned favor.

kinda wild, i just got another voice entry via mp3 from another brit (recrea33) i'm feelin' the international loooooooooove.

Jul. 19th, 2005 09:36 am (UTC)
I guess I'm relegated to being the one dissenting opinion... :)
I've never felt closer to Sandra Day O'Connor because I seem to always be filing the minority dissenting opinion on this issue... :o) As Leslie probably knows from my response to her post, I'm actually very wary, and almost opposed, to meeting people from the Net or the Web now. I've had a few very positive experiences (namely, you and Chuck, of course :) but I've had some very negative experiences, as well... enough to make me very comfortable and happy knowing people within the context of the setting or environ I first met them and not making the transition to the other.

The real catch to the whole online thing, in my somewhat humble opinion, is that people reveal certain aspects of themselves online and other aspects in person; compounding this is the fact that YOU get to know THEM as one thing online and a completely other thing offline or in real life. The main result ends up being you *THINK* you know someone when, in reality, you knew at most one facet of them or an image they chose to project in that medium.

To my mind, very few people are glaringly honest online and in real life... and with that (admittedly jaded and a little drunk) perspective, I'm happy to know people for what I believe them to be within the context of whichever medium I met them in. But making the transition from one to the other... well, to quote the Great Ali G: "Ich don't think so!" :o) But speaking of virtual entities, there's this excellent quote in my quotes archive by Emerson,

"Let us treat men and women well; Treat them as if they were real; Perhaps they are."

Love that quote... that being said, we really do need to arrange a luncheon or dinner, perhaps at Gaylord's? Megan's back from Savannah (finally!) and we're meeting another friend of hers this week but mayhaps the following week or the week after? We'd just have to make sure not to mention LiveJournal explicitly because I really don't want those two worlds to collide ever again! :o)
Jul. 19th, 2005 03:15 pm (UTC)
Re: I guess I'm relegated to being the one dissenting opinion... :)
well, your circumstance is quite unique..
having had a girlfriend that is a heavy Lj user and now one that doesn't touch the stuff.

you tend to reveal many heartfelt moments in your life (either under the influence or not!) through Lj, so i can see how you might be taken aback meeting someone who shares only snippets of their 'real' self online. i rather liked meeting you and holly first...before jumping into the Lj pond.

excellent quote, btw.
we will definitely arrange a meeting in the real world sooooooooon. i might be stealing chuck to take a quick trip up to oregon in about a week..but, after that we should toowalk.
Jul. 19th, 2005 02:09 pm (UTC)
The internet is very strange. In real life, I'm a bit of a loner and very shy, but on the internet I can chat up a storm. I've only physically met one internet pal in the nine years I've been on the net, and I married her. We've been married for 6 years now, and it turned out really well.
Actually, I've been very lucky, internet-wise. I've probably been involved with 600 ebay auctions, and only got ripped off once. That was for a $0.99 item. I haven't met any stalkers or super freaky people that won't stop emailing me, or anything like that. Overall, I'd say the internet has been a very positive thing for me.
I live in a small town, and the internet allows me to talk with many artists from all over the world. I get to see what they are doing, and I can learn from them just by asking questions. I can even collaborate with them via snail mail. It's really great.
I don't really expect to truly know anyone I chat with on the internet. You really have to live with somebody to know them well. I consider internet friends to be acquaintances. Still, it's possible for acquaintances to have a positive effect on one's life. So far, most of my interactions on the internet have been quite good.
Jul. 19th, 2005 02:36 pm (UTC)
Speaking of ebay, I got the fastest service ever! I paid for an item yesterday, and it arrived in the mail this morning. Way to go snail mail! The seller only lives 80 miles away, but still, that's amazing. The snail must be on PCP!
Jul. 19th, 2005 03:20 pm (UTC)
you really hit on an important idea..
I live in a small town, and the internet allows me to talk with many artists from all over the world.
i feel like this medium has opened the door to so many different artists that i wouldn't have seen otherwise. this is the best way to promote and expose your own art..especially for younger artists who don't have gallery backing or even websites yet.

and the whole collaboration aspect has just been overwhelming to me..in a very good way.

wow. you have been lucky on the ebay. i've had some doozies..
Jul. 19th, 2005 05:57 pm (UTC)
i now realize this whole public blogging thing is like a dating service for FRiENDS!!!! only you don't have to meet for lunch and figure out what the fuck to say when you realize the chemistry is just NOT there.. or in my case, excuse yourself to go to the ladies room and just not come back....
Jul. 19th, 2005 06:42 pm (UTC)
yeah, those bathroom windows are getting smaller and smaller..
Jul. 20th, 2005 04:49 am (UTC)
wow!! this very subject has been on my mind a lot latley.but you words are so eloquent i wont add to them except to say ..wow!!!!
Jul. 21st, 2005 02:25 am (UTC)
what he said ;) ♥!!
( 17 comments — Leave a comment )